Friday, October 13, 2006

benguluru rocks

Wats common to north korea's nuclear test, shashi tharoor's non selection as UN secretary general, booker prize to kiran desai, nobel for orhan pamuk and big b turning 64 ?? Well, these are the events which happened in the last ten days. However, my zero cognizance of these events renders me useless in writing about them. So i will write something else which happened in the last ten days- my whirlwind visit to bangalore or rather lets say benguluru(i dont want to get into skirmishes with the likes of revanna and kumaraswamy). For now, lets continue with bangalore.

After reading this write up please dont brand me voyeuristic.I hail from vizag. In my graduation days, the common opinion about bangalore among my classmates is that BANGALORE ROCKS. why ?? Not because of the IT industry but because of girls. Surprised ?? You wont be, if you are a tier-2 city denizen. Wats tier-2 city ?? Well, tier-2 city is a city which is semi-metro and ethos are predominantly conservative. It is commercially viable but for revelry aka bachhanalia it SUCKS.

In bangalore which happens to be a tier-1 city, among 100 girls one girl wears chudidar and in vizag, among 100 girls one girl wears jeans. And in my cousin's words- who hails from bhubaneshwar and who works for infosys in bangalore- in bbsr, among 200 girls one wears jeans. In the ngo's for destitutes, the children are not given bed initially to sleep on. Because it is a kind of culture shock for them. All their life, they have been sleeping on rock solid floor and now they cant adjust to the mattress. The same culture shock happens to me whenever i roam along the streets of mg road or loiter along the alleys of forum mall.

I mean, if you are a tier-2 city person, avoiding see through tops is quite difficult. Or rather lets say, your pavlovian reflexes will not let you to. I wonder if my jockey trunks are bigger than the shorts which the girls wear out there. And boy oh boy, those low necklines with ample cleavage will make a tier-2 person gasping for breath and gaping for more. And of course those harlet tops. I used to wonder, only scarlet johansson wears them regularly. But nah, bangalore has its quota of scarlett johansson's. This is the same bangalore which is going to introduce kannada from next year as a compulsory subject. Nevertheless, this is the same bangalore where led zeppelin is worshipped and tons of used condoms are extracted from the back of air conditioners of the BPO's. this is the bangalore in which everyone is hip-hop and have their own style mantras. cut to vizag, boot cut jeans are still in vogue. Pink is not yet considered "in".
And in vizag, metrosexual is the one who streaks his hair.

In our college, god save the stripling who initiates a chat with a girl. He will be the butt of ridicule . Why ?? Cos, tier-2 city guys dont have the courage initiate chat with girls. and so they mock at the ones who try to. Cut to bangalore, every guy is flanked by two girls. Do i envy him ?? NO. Wud i like to be in his place ?? YESS.. I visited crossword in bangalore. It was such a delight going there. With all those ergonomic chairs provided to whet ur appetite for books as much as you want and no one to question you. And in vizag , may god bless you if you happen to flip through the pages of book without buying. Thanks to crossword, i got the paperback of alchemy of desire and if not for my pint sized luggage bag i wud hv even bought the pirated copy of the 7 kg of sacred games. And here in vizag, sacred games original is not yet available..

However, dates at bangalore will make a dent into your wallet. A movie date would cost 400 bucks and brunch at barista another 250 at the minimum. And lo behold in vizag, everything would happen for atmost 200.. Thank god, we dont have any pvr's over here.. I am not ready to shell out 200 for some goddamn movie. I am not ready to fork out 60 bucks for broken pieces of lijjat papad rechristened as some obscure name.

I hope my write up does not sound like an 8th standard civics answer for question - difference between tier-1 and tier-2 cities. After reading this am sure, tier-1 guys will laugh, tier-1 girls will lament at me, tier-2 guys will agree and tier-2 girls will loathe me. I hope it remains so.


At 12:35 AM, Blogger sowmi said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

At 7:51 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wowww...wot a post Man..its slabbering!!!

After reading this Blog..i thought how i wish to b a Kannadigan guy...Kaash!!:(

Bro..u hav mentioned tht u aint a Voyeur but later agn u'v stated tht u wud love to snuggle in the guys place flanked by 2 girls...Can i know d reason...u simply want to gasconade abt ur current status to ur frds..??if thts not voyeurism thn it ought to b a show off...vice-versa...wot say??

Wow...Crosswards must hav been swarming with Bibliophiles!!How lucky r they n how nice of thm...this is sumthing appreciable dude!!

And hey u ought to enter into history...showed d diff between tier-1 n 2 wherein such terms never existed though...Dont u feel its ridiculous to differentiate in such a way...i go with u...culture has changed a lot...thts the impact of west..wot i suggest is...u shud hav atleast mentioned westernism n indianism...inspite of this blog being an absolute Atrocity!!

Wen a girl exposes,guys gasp for breath...ohh fine!!..n u hav depicted blore so weirdly tht thr exists no decent girl(Kannadiga with tier 2 traits..acc 2 ur classification!!)....Guess u hav purposefully been to a place where westernism is most prevalent....must hav stayed in blore for 2days...explore well yaar..
On a serious note...i was very disheartened to see ur blog..wot??..semi-metros n ethos r comrcly viable but for reverie it sucks??....SHAME ON YOU!!!...i think i can call u as a lusty hounded guy n take this for granted readers!!

Once upon a time ur blogs used to b innovative,stylish n thot posh n polished...ur coming up with radical ideas now-a-days...its good but thrs a limit...wot happened??!!You r blessed with such a wonderful vocab skill...n demeaning urself with this trivial topics(even with ref to PMS)

And last n the best of the paras...'m a girl hailing frm blore..and a staunch patriot..pls stop discriminating tier 1 n 2...Ours is a secular country ofcourse still nonexistentbut v youngsters shud shape up our Motherland instead we being d one to differentiate...n wot matters is culture...i agree tht our indianism is dissipitating but v can still preserve...n thts by u guys only...instead of gasping for breath n ogling at VAMPS y don u seclude those...n make them go green with jealousy by applausing a decent girl(ur tier 2 girls)...

As a girl...I cant change the mindset of another girl but all u guys out thr has every possibilty to treasure WOMAN...n u can change...Dont worry u will b called as a Guy only!!:)):P

PLS,don generalise d statement...still tier2 girls exists in blore...ohh shit...i got used these tiers:))...aftr writing so much:P n haan..u forgot to mention abt the city's infrastructure n new developments other than girls:))

waiting to see ur next beautiful blog....

At 1:17 PM, Anonymous CHAITANYA said...

GIrls in low-neck tops and short skirts would enrapture any boy's eyes and tingle his aesthetic sense, thanks to the cerebral cortex. Not to mention, they are irreproachable substitutes for sialates.
But a city such as Bangalore, wherein embarassment and shame are far from existent, can be a domicile for sexual assaults. Leaving behind the skimpy garbed spellbinding girls and the razzmatazz of the city life, a centripetal probe into the mindset of the girls' parents will denude the facts. To parents to whom their 'fair sex' offsprings wearing revealing attires is not a concern, their voluptuous daughters hiking around with male companions( read it as L-E-W-D J-A-C-K-A-L-S/J-A-C-K-A-S-S-E-S) may be a workaday affair. Coming to statistical evaluation, as many as 83.74% of such girls are only anal virgins and the rest, about to be deflowered very soon- all this attributed partly to rapes, and partly to forbidden desires. Let's say all this follows the same principle as "WHERE THERE IS SMOKE, THERE IS FIRE"(old jungle saying).
And all you tier-1 city boys who are dreaming of consorting with Bangalore girls, and may I say clairvoyantly, fantasizing about tying the knot with one such, will be penitent for their daftness.
So, before you drool over the milky white thighs or the enchanting cleavages, and struggle to fraternize with these lasses, remember that tier-2 girls are tired too!

At 6:16 AM, Blogger garcia kafka said...

@chaitanya : thanks a lot for ur comment dude.. but i have strong objection over your comment.. ur being far too simplistic and why ru blaming the girls ?? act of volition is something which every citizen of our country is endowed with.. so if their testeotrone levels get aroused and that tissue is lost to someone whom they are not gonna eventually marry wats the big deal in tht.. when the guy does not have to go thru contrition why the girl.. and parents are not to be blamed for this supposedly "unethical" practice.. btw, hi..

At 4:11 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

used 2 read ur blogs religiously...but offlate u sound sooo banal...write somethin thts interestin 2 read..somethin thts original!!!!puhhhhhhhhleeeeeeez...

At 4:14 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Mr Author!has ur passion 4 writin vanished into thin air??????????????or is it tht u playin some cheap trick like wat the Deccan Chronicles/Indian Expresses do 2 increase ur readership???????

At 7:37 AM, Blogger sowmi said...

hmm...well perhaps ur u might have written out of your interests but when people perceive ur blogs expecting no less than a editorial i think u are letting them down by writing about trivial matters..perhaps it is time to introspect and at the same time u can change the gear but towards something which is realatively more important to the people who are affected by it..vested interests can be there but not always...

At 10:04 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

as i read ur comments,i see tat everyone wants to read something serious but u say ppl read only such things..!!
anyway,ur post was terrible,good lang but i dont agree wit u in the least...(if u wanna know why,ask me in person)..
waiting for ur next listen to me atleast this time.

At 3:59 AM, Anonymous said...


Ur perception 2wards parents thinking was too bad...they r providing us luxury in every plausible way,loving us unconditionally..but wot r we giving to will they know wot we r dng outside home..its simple,they r trusting us tht blindly...its we who r decieving thm...then y put d blame??
r u living upto their expectations in all aspects??? ..i accept tht thr r few whose lifestyle has become westernised but still don generalise do u know tht their child's revealing clothes is not a concern..r u one among those parents?? most of d youngsters r straining d relationship between parents n them...they r hardly giving a ear to their parents advice...dont u think??its we beasts who r trying to take advantage of the luxury been provided to us...n i strongly feel!!

hey i dunno ur discipline..r u frm statistical sure abt!!..there is nothing like anal virgin or so..once she had given up herself to a guy she is no more a virgin...And for ur kindest info...Anal Sex is unhygenic...guess tht cud b the cause for d highest % in anal virgin's list(acc'g to ur terminology)....Thank God atleast our guys r conscious abt hygeine:P

Finally.i'munable to assume u as a guy since u hav stated male companions as L-E-W-D J-A-C-K-A-L-S/J-A-C-K-A-S-S-E-S...n later u'v mentioned tht tired 2 girls tired too which made me feel tht u r'nt a girl...U a girl or a guy wot does tht last statement mean??
Not to forget,Mr.Garcia:P...ur feedback for his/her comment is appreciable:)
And hey i hav already posted my comment as anonymous1...:P;))

wud b plsd to see ur reply

At 1:48 AM, Anonymous CHAITANYA said...

This is neither a comment nor does it belong here.
As a young boy, I rhapsodized over the dialogues of the luminaries of Telugu cinema. They were the axiomatic protagonists of the glorious movies of the enthralling eighties and the natty nineties. Each movie was one of its kind and movie makers considered their exertion a form of art and lionized their spadework. Movies were made to win audience's hearts and inoculate into them a sense of allegorical responsibility. There were even films that were not captivating, but definitely not deplorable. Not to disappoint those who were born two or three decades before I was, I want to avow that these people had been the spectators of ineffable movies that delineated and mirrored the life of the common man, and had scoffed at the unforgettable sartorial crassness of the stubbled, neckerchiefed side-kicks to the villain. In movies of the serene sixties and the scintillating seventies, there were, on the one hand, crystal-clear melodies and genial Telugu literature, and on the other hand, galvanizing performances by legends on the screen. To complete the picture there were even the gizmo-ridden villain dens(plucked out of James Bond movies), and the humdrum, climactic abduction of the hero's mother. This apart or taken, a lot of elbow grease went into the making of movies,and I'm proud to say, "100 DAYS FUNCTIONS" were alien.
Blimey! Came the new millennium and Telugu cinema started ebbing into the nether world. Since then, movies have been made to swagger the grandness of the hero's clan(we all saw a clutch of jack-o-lanterns jump in) or to potray sex as a substance of national importance. He who slaughters hundred people at a stretch in the name of Vendetta, or nettles his professor at college, or plagues a girl to reciprocate with him, or mollycoddles in premarital or extramarital sex has become the "HERO". To exacerbate this, personages who I had idolized as a child are rustling feathers with the "RISING STARS". From a stage where heroines reigned supreme with their breath-taking pretence, they have been curtailed to mere sex objects and glamour dolls. The scripts are being doodled for the eponymous characters of the movies, who flagrantly, are the heroes. No sooner than the movie is released, than is it deemed a hit, thanks to the initial glamorization by the media. And lastly, there are the stunts, that,if Sir Isaac Newton sees, would hang his head in shame for propounding the law of gravity. To say compendiously, the movie makers have taken the turn-out at their mercy. Only few and far between flicks are trying to caulk the abysmal state of affairs of Telugu cinema. Whether it's avarice for money or lunacy at its height, Telugu cinema has become the largest non-communicable disease in Andhra Pradesh.
If you think that I have published this here because I don't know how to start a blog or give my article a title, don't think again. Maybe, you are right.

At 11:50 PM, Blogger Anjani said...

hey jagan since wen hav ur ur webpage became public's ???

At 7:44 AM, Blogger Sameera said...

hmm interestin article jagan

must say u have been bold in statin a few things

was wonderin why chaitanya started the telugu cinema topic here

not only is it outta also makes me wonder if he knows that the reason why those kinda movies are popular is cos there are always people who watch them

i dont see who is to blame..the heroines who do it for the money or the people who give money to watch it

At 11:57 AM, Blogger Advitiya said...

Don't know where I fit delhi ever since I was rudely pulled outta my cocoon...

Interesting write-up...I must say this, you're good at descriptions. Makes a difference if you wanna be a journo.

Hmm been to b'lore fair few times, though stayed outside the city so really cant say but I like the way you put it on the screen..
Nice :)

At 6:40 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...


At 5:20 AM, Blogger Bharat Jhurani said...

Seriously man!!! B'lore Roxx!!! Maybe 4 all the reasons tht u hav stated and a lot more....

At 11:02 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

ur cheap trick worked!!!wow!!this is the max comments u've eva rxvd

At 12:03 AM, Blogger garcia kafka said...

@anonymous: ur right.. pandering to cheap n kitschy stuff fethced me the maximum comments..

At 1:52 AM, Anonymous hafiza said...

hey jagan...wen do v get c ur next post!!!?????

At 7:38 AM, Blogger ~~sim~~ said...

hmmm.. i m still thinking what to write , but was awesome post .. ,

i just wonder if other cities are to follow , no ..


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