Thursday, September 28, 2006

To do or not to do ??

I admit the fact that most of my articles over here are jejune but i take pride in the fact that i deal with taboos. Before you start calling me bumptious, i want to get started. The issue am writing is on pre-marital sex(PMS). I know i know, sania mirza, khushboo n narain karthikeyan have raked up this issue way back in march. Dont ask yourself tht why am i writing on this issue after these many days. Before you concoct your own conclusions, let me clarify that if you are expecting a titillating dare-bare confession then sorry folks !! My sexual life has been and is non-existent. This article is not going to sing paeans to my impotency.

When i mentioned to one of my friend that i am writing on this issue, she said that "write something which is common". In some cultures, such as our own, pre-marital sex is a taboo. But inspite of that, PMS is unbelievably common. Time and again, indian cinema(which is a reflection of indian society and its mores) has always ostracised the couple which indulges in PMS(take kya kehna for instance). What leads to PMS ?? Greater mobility, greater anonymity, greater tolerance of the mores, peer group culture, influence of media, and decline in parental control are factors that led to PMS,atleast in metropolitan cities. It would be erroneous to assume that boys and girls indulge in sex for physical pleasure alone.

Recently, the delhi high-court has passed a landmark judgement which is that " if the husband does not indulge in sex with his spouse then that is equivalent to mental torture and a good solid reason for divorce". The reason i said this as watershed judgement is that it will mollify the torture endured by indian woman. Physical torture is something which heals along with time but mental torture can only be more painful as time goes by. Many divorces in our country happen due to non-compatiblity on the bed. Indifferent sexual drives among the couples(lets talk about heterosexual couples for time being) has been a major contributor to the high number of divorces happening.

Due to this reason, i firmly advocate PMS. But not on a trial and error basis. The couple must be having a platonic relationship for atleast 6 months. And if they are willing to live forever, only then should PMS be done. Some of you out there may say, what if, after the whole thing is done and the couple is not compatible on bed, its the girl who would have lost her virginity which only her husband had the right to breach. Well people, there used to be this maverick painter known as amrita shergil. Her work - the village- has recently got sold for a whopping 6.9 crore rupees at sotheby's and christie's. This woman had numerous sexual experiences.

Khushwant singh had desribed her as follows- "many men made scars on her body but no one could make a scratch on her mind". Thats what a rational man would like to do. As laura castellano very aptly puts it in erich segal's seminal work"the doctors"- you must be very happy that this guy indulges in such cheap thrills. Making hue and cry over a piece of tissue is like israel bombing whole of lebanon just for that one absucted soldier.. No no, am not being chauvinistic. I do know that a woman's virginity is a very precious thing. But we have to accept that an ever lasting relataionship is much more important than the timing of the "first blood soaked blanket" experience.

I know that i have written something very inflammable. But i hope to see some meaningful harangue.


At 12:07 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

daringly written..though u hid some facts..:p

At 6:47 AM, Blogger Bharat Jhurani said...

quite darin.. nd gud use of words, keep goin...

At 1:54 AM, Anonymous sameera said...

yea ur fren was rite ...quite many facts hidden ..don u think so!!!!

At 6:10 AM, Blogger Sameera said...

hmmm id say bold but still not convinced about ur argument for pms.

compatibility in bed before marriage neednt translate to compatibilty after always..dont u think?

the brain has a huge part to play in the process so once that's turned off..nothing physical can help..atleast thats what i feel.

coming to ur attitude...commendable....but i cant say im convinced ud maintain the same stand when it comes to u :)

obv i dont know u too well to pass judgements.but whatever

At 8:56 AM, Anonymous jwala said...

hmmm...quite a loooooooooong time since i posted ma last comment...i know it seems criminal tht i comment on only those entries tht i dont agree wid...n dont compliment u for the better executed i guess u get enuf complis to keep u here goes for this one...

this time, whn i ws reading ur blog...i ws focussing not on the "wt" tht ws the "how"...this one's another of ur blog entries bordering on mediocrity...n certainly a badly executed one...

since u ve chosen a "taboo" like pms as ur subject n since this issue has already been torn to pieces by loads of ppl "way back in march"..(as u urself stated ..)...the msg u r trying to drive shud ve been more strongly put shud ve hit ur readers with much more force thn it did took me several readings of the same arti to actually understand wt u were trying to "bellow" say the ulti purpose of the blog entry wsnt satisfied properly!!

n thn...coming to the writing style...each paragraph speaks a story for its own strung together they dont bring out the central theme of the arti...each is meaningful together, they rnt doing wt they r supposed to...the topic isnt strategically built up ie like one fact is nt leading to another n thus givin the logical the arti seems like a few facts threaded together quite awkwardly...i mean...for all the readers know...u cud ve interchanged the 2nd n 3rd paras in their order n it wudunt have made much of a difference...

n again...thr is again this usual handicap of urs tht is more evident here...a very weak ending...the arti took a kick failed end with a bang...hope u work thr properly next time...coz tht kinda drains the arti of its beauty(if there is any tht is)..

all in say this knowing ur literary talents...a very inflammable topic n a good opinion tht cud ve been justified in a better way owing to ur capabilities...i am sure u cn do highly better thn this..:)

At 9:18 AM, Anonymous shanti said...

hmmm...i had read this blog for atleast 7 to 8 times to raise some points against start with,

1.U'v mentioned tht ur sexual life has been n is non-existent...but cud u pls tell me how U WUD assume tht it wud b erroneous to assume tht boys n girls indulge in sex for phy pleasure wen ur sex life is blank??...if thts not pleasure then wot made them go ahead???...was tth not lust??or u say its mutual understanding or love..Pls don forget our ethics...can we boldly tell our parents tht i had pms with my frd??

2.U said tht delhi high court has passed some judgement...i accept phy torture can b healed in course of time but mental torture really eats us dont u think even divorce is a sort of mental torture???...u prefer pms..fine...wot if thts not satisfactory???u also quoted the words of khushwant singh..but lemme know if he cud accept Amrit shergil as his life-partner...NO!!..he can only see her as a Sex toy..our country is long familiar for its ethical richness(ofcourse thts slowly fading away)...u wish to spoil tht reputation???

3.Finally,if our lives r only meant for sex n its enjoyment...its better we dont marry any...instead enjoy every new one!!!

Personally,Jagan,even u dont accept with Khushwant singh' man on this earth can b as rational...he had simply blurted out in public n we cud never know abt his personal opinions...atleast i never wish to also:P

And last but not the least...Jwala ur comment was amazing...tht had made me write this...gud inspiration frm u:)

At 10:50 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

first of all it was very brave and bold to write a blog on such a topic.I admire ur courage man.
and i would like to congratulate on ur work.

what i would like to add is that people make such a hulla bulloh over a subject which is a matter of ones own perception.
any one who likes to indulge in pre marital sex is free to do so in his right , because after all it is his own decision.if u do not like to indulge in pms , its ok, but u cannot stop someone who wants to.isnt it. people have been taken to poking noses in others work quite too often.

all in all a good one and keep it eager for more controversial stuff

At 10:39 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

ur artis sound more like page 3 stuffs these days.or say.. like the mag section of Times

At 8:57 PM, Blogger garcia kafka said...

@ anonymous : thanks for ur wonderful comment.. keep hitting me hard where it hurts the most..

At 6:36 AM, Blogger saumyata said...

well my comment on Pre marital sex would be that it is very common, many couples indulge into it but very few accept it.
As for he article good topic but ....u need to use better words and put things more softly.....we are not playing the daredevil but putting our opinion here.....good topic but can be researched more on

chhers saumyata


Post a Comment

<< Home