To do or not to do ??

I admit the fact that most of my articles over here are jejune but i take pride in the fact that i deal with taboos. Before you start calling me bumptious, i want to get started. The issue am writing is on pre-marital sex(PMS). I know i know, sania mirza, khushboo n narain karthikeyan have raked up this issue way back in march. Dont ask yourself tht why am i writing on this issue after these many days. Before you concoct your own conclusions, let me clarify that if you are expecting a titillating dare-bare confession then sorry folks !! My sexual life has been and is non-existent. This article is not going to sing paeans to my impotency.

When i mentioned to one of my friend that i am writing on this issue, she said that "write something which is common". In some cultures, such as our own, pre-marital sex is a taboo. But inspite of that, PMS is unbelievably common. Time and again, indian cinema(which is a reflection of indian society and its mores) has always ostracised the couple which indulges in PMS(take kya kehna for instance). What leads to PMS ?? Greater mobility, greater anonymity, greater tolerance of the mores, peer group culture, influence of media, and decline in parental control are factors that led to PMS,atleast in metropolitan cities. It would be erroneous to assume that boys and girls indulge in sex for physical pleasure alone.

Recently, the delhi high-court has passed a landmark judgement which is that " if the husband does not indulge in sex with his spouse then that is equivalent to mental torture and a good solid reason for divorce". The reason i said this as watershed judgement is that it will mollify the torture endured by indian woman. Physical torture is something which heals along with time but mental torture can only be more painful as time goes by. Many divorces in our country happen due to non-compatiblity on the bed. Indifferent sexual drives among the couples(lets talk about heterosexual couples for time being) has been a major contributor to the high number of divorces happening.

Due to this reason, i firmly advocate PMS. But not on a trial and error basis. The couple must be having a platonic relationship for atleast 6 months. And if they are willing to live forever, only then should PMS be done. Some of you out there may say, what if, after the whole thing is done and the couple is not compatible on bed, its the girl who would have lost her virginity which only her husband had the right to breach. Well people, there used to be this maverick painter known as amrita shergil. Her work - the village- has recently got sold for a whopping 6.9 crore rupees at sotheby's and christie's. This woman had numerous sexual experiences.

Khushwant singh had desribed her as follows- "many men made scars on her body but no one could make a scratch on her mind". Thats what a rational man would like to do. As laura castellano very aptly puts it in erich segal's seminal work"the doctors"- you must be very happy that this guy indulges in such cheap thrills. Making hue and cry over a piece of tissue is like israel bombing whole of lebanon just for that one absucted soldier.. No no, am not being chauvinistic. I do know that a woman's virginity is a very precious thing. But we have to accept that an ever lasting relataionship is much more important than the timing of the "first blood soaked blanket" experience.

I know that i have written something very inflammable. But i hope to see some meaningful harangue.