Monday, June 26, 2006

welcome to the world of double trilogy.. that too every year

What does x-men,harry potter,godfather,lord of the rings,scary movie,rocky,evil dead have in common ?? They are mind-blowing. Yes, they are but they all have their own trilogies too. But hollywood has only a few of them to name but here in indian cinema since circa 2000 we are having double trilogies every year. How ?? Filmfare awards, star screen awards, zee cine awards, iifa awards, sansui awards and stardust.
The depressing fact is that these trilogies have almost everything in common. You watch one of them and you can guess the rest.

Recently the iifa awards culminated and with that this year's double trilogies too.. Barring a few performances on stage these awards are worth a zilch. In oscars, you have all the contestants in one frame with lots of trepidation n willies in stomach. HEre, the jury is very well known so the cronies get away with the awards. How else can one explain black getting so many awards this year ?? Watching black was no doubt a wonderful experience but conferring so many awards on that is a bit too preposterous. Hazaaron khwahishein aisi was a wonderful film but it went unnoticed because it had no "face value".

Even more disgusting part with these awards is that the sponsers pander to the ego of every one who attends the award ceremony. Preity zinta , who last year gave no mighty performance- whats the big deal, she never gives such performance- was awarded the IDEA IIFA MOST GLAMOROUS STAR of the year. Last year shah rukh's only release was paheli which went eponymously to the audience so the filmfare gives him EVERREADY MOST POWERFUL STAR.

The acceptance speeches in the oscars, or for that matter the bafta or razzies, are terse n humorous. HEre, after watching one speech of rani mukherjee i could lip synch her.

"I want to thank the jury, my parents, sanjay, all the cast and crew of black, the helen keller school for blind n dumb and most of all amit uncle who has literally guided me through the whole process."

Now picture this, how rani could have been humorous
"I want to thank the jury especially those who did not watch black but still had to vote for me. I want to thank sanjay for making me dumb because my voice sounds screechy and that does frighten few people. Last but not the atleast, i want to thank the helen keller school for blind and dumb who have taught me a few skills which will help me in finding an alternative career once my film career comes to an end."

Next comes, sanjay leela bhansali chewing gum and talking about reverence to films. Ironically, black did not bag the award which it very rightfully deserves. Gayatri ganjawala for that superb song of black. The only silver lining was shiney ahuja getting award(s) for HKA.. I dont expect the trend to reverse in the coming years. Because our films are regressive and our audiences are even more regressive. As long as the four S's -sanskaar, skin show,shah rukh, sherawat-are an inextricable part of hindi cinema these awards will be blase.

Friday, June 16, 2006

Its a bad mad ad world..

Ladies and gentlemen, aapka intezaar khatam hua main vapas aa gaya.
St augustine once said that "the world is like a book and if u dont travel then u have read only a page". Well, monsieur i flipped quite a few pages in last month or so.
Here i am with my new blog. Read on..

The title of this article is not only an alliteration but also a pithy testimony to the ad world.. Some recent ads hav really irked me and i sussed upon the following apparent facts. First of all, the maruti esteem ad. The small girl keeps asking her fatso dad "whose car is this". And he, remains mum with a twitch in the upper lip otherwise known as smile. This girl keeps expanding her arms as if working out is mandatory in a car. The denouement is what really makes me sulk. After getting down from the car she shouts "my dad's big car". This can have very debilitating effects.
The advertiser is creating a "snob value" for the 6 yr old girl. She screams before her friends who definitely dont have a "big car". This is nothing less than sleaze. These days parents are more conscious and send their children in school buses so that the milieu is at a common ground. In such moment the maruti esteem ad is indeed regressive.

But the major share of the cake still goes to pepsi. Why on earth did pepsi has to use bebo,priyanka and india's most over rated actor srk to churn out an insipid ad like pepsi tv ?? I thought it would be a new channel which will be bubbly in real terms. What we get is an ad which is as preposterous as iran expecting the world cup. However, i still put up with the ad(as i did with many other imbecile ones) but what is on air these days is really sick. A couple(heterosexual !!) sip pepsi n munch popcorn while watching a cricket match. Suddenly concuppisance creeps into the guy and he tries to fondle the chick but the pepsi spills over him and his amatory plans. Then priyanks pops in and says that "ab aaya naya pepsi combo jisme aap pop corn aur pepsi ek baar kha aur pee sakte hai taaki aap baaki kaam bhi kare." Baaki kaam ?? Oh my gawd !!!

And wat else, in the next shot the guy does four things at a moment thanks to priyanka's divine intervention. If only we could see the fornication clip also. On serious terms, this ad pisses me off instantly. Pepsi has come out with
an ad featuring a despo n a chick(am not sure whether its the girl or priyanka !!)
Shitty ads have always been the indian ad industry's forte. And even more distressing fact is that people ae gullible. Otherwise how else on earth wud a fair & lovely product be famous.
The people believe that using the fairness cream will turn charcoal black girl into taj mahal. They dont understand that the melanine content of
one's skin is permanent and it comes with the birth. So removing that is not a 20 rs sachet's work. But wat else could these middle-class girls do. Nowadays, every matrimonial column asking for brides has one common phrase. Fair looking(read it as outrageously beautiful). This is despite the fact that the prospective groom is a bald headed 40 yr-old divorcee.. But he still wants a fair looking girl.

According to me, beauty is like reservation in higher institutes. Just as reservation allows a deprived student to get into the institutes beauty is the one thing which might instantly attract people's attention. But, once the student enters into the institute he needs to study for the degree. And in the same way the girl needs to have some brains too.. Otherwise she wud be the butt of the blonde jokes.

We indians are so celebrity obsessed that any kind of ad passes muster. The recent fanta ad of rani mukherjee is easily the receipient of worst made ad. Whats pk bose n stuff ?? Leave that.. We have better things to look forward to..
Especially "joga bonito"..