Saturday, February 03, 2007

Bangalore(sic) rocks-2

Dramatis personae:
The writer

Pervetdly moronic side: He eavesdrops on other people's conversation
Normal side: HE appreciates the pleasant side of bangalore

Lavanya sankaran dedicates her lackadaisical yet partly brilliantly written "the red carpet" to bangalore which she refers to as "my errant muse". It defied logic to me until recently. Because bombay is an enigma, new york has an underbelly which is as diverse as its gentry. But bangalore ?? Apart from housing 2500 IT companies this place hardly has anything to boast about, right ?? Wrong !! Its not for nothing that "bangalored" has found its way into oxford dictionary. However, the sobriquet given to it as "the garden city" is another boo boo. Consumerism has crept neck deep into this bustling place to such an extent that a drive from the airport would make you realise that pradip kishen would have dreaded this drive throughout his remaining life or maybe he is. Foliage would be a misnomer in this part of the world. However, this article takes forward my earlier write up on bangalore. I am not getting enough of this city and hence, the part 2.

Thanks to an mba college interview i had to come to bangalore(which i love doing ). Per capita income must surely be the highest in bangalore because the auto wallah dished out a nokia 6600. I went into a stupor for time immemorial. These must be the ways of bangalore assuaged my disquitedness. However, i could not anticipate what was to follow. One thing common to all metros in india is its long snarling traffic and bangalore is no different. A young couple were on the bike and suddenly they started smooching until the traffic cleared out. This was baffling for my neo liberal mindset. However, what was a kind of conundrum was that no one was minding what was happening. May be the "yeh kya hua kaise hua" moods ad is aired the most in bangalore and what corroborated this theory of mine was that this same brand of protection is available in the vending machines also.

Moving on, after getting bored of trawling the streets of mg road i thought of moving onto rex for the interminably long salaam-e-ishq. A one hour was left and by the most amazing coincidence a gaggle of girls was literally squatting on the portico where yours truly also was sitting. I would not have been interested in what they were discussing. But still the prospect of a bangalorean chat was a lip smacking prospect and i started eavesdropping and i am glad i did that. They were discussing the oeuvre of kieslowski, nitinsawhney's music and , oh my god, umberto eco's baudolino. I was yearning to be a part of that eclectic forum. Not that i would have contributed much though. This got me pretty exciting, even more than the scenes of naked midriffs with the pellucid fabric hardly sustaining and clean underarms(unlike the marwari girls of vizag). Why excited ?? They were talking sheer sense rather than balderdash about whether abhishek will be a ghar jamai or else drooling over da vinci code(for god's sake "in the name of rose" is hundred times better guys). What was the best thing about the gen x of bangalore was that the guys were not after beauty. They were looking for the x factor in a girl. And thats exactly the reason why the most good looking girls were fending off for themselves and a comparatively less pulchritudinous girl had a nice guy pamepring her. I felt good about that. Back home in vizag, guys just swoon,leer and drool over those cretinous comely girls(am so tempted to term them chicks). Ironically, this is the same bangalore where finds its provenance in.

U.Ananthamurthy has truly taken linguistic chauvinism to his heart, and ipso facto, the karnataka government too. Each MNC has the english version of it in the neon lights. However, the kannada version gets a place above the english version. An ashok puncture shop is misspelt as "ashok punchar shap"
but the kannada version is to the T. Few months back, a huge furore was raised over the issue of kannada education being made mandatory throughout the state and after logic taking the driver's state the bill was deferred till this summer. My query to these mandarins is that will they be sending their own children to the kannada medium schools. Without blinking an eye, i can say NO. Its a paradox, but its still intoxicating and you cant help getting addicted to it. Thats bangalore for you.

P.S: the writer did not intend to compare bangalore and vizag. You just cannot compare manhattan and cleveland. He apologises for the fleeting comparison in one of the paragraphs above. He is thankful to bangalore for letting him parzania which he feels is a must watch because it makes the viewer ask questions like "did godhra had to happen ?", "Should narendra modi have been left scot free ?".

Raves of the fortnight:

Its vintage gulzar in "just married". Listening to the lyrics of gudgudee would make the surroundings mirthful. Sample this:Socha tha tumse mili toh paav zameen pe padenge yeh kya pata thi ki phirse khwabon main udne lagenge." Bliss. Pure bliss.

Sacred games by vikram chandra: Forget jonathan yardley. Forget his censure of sacred games on washington post. This tome is a genuine genuine page turner. Vikram chandra is a master story teller. As it happens with all those engaging tomes sacred games is no different. As the pages on the right hand side keep dwindling the reader would just feel a bit sad. The tapestry is so complicately built up that the reader gets sucked into the cesspool. Read it. And trust me sanjay kumar from chabilapur is going to keep you in splits for long long time.

Watch friends with money. A feel good film with quite a lot of characters but still no caricatures. Watch it just for the scene when the supposedly "gay" husband says that he was with a male friend. Those raised eyebrows of the three women was the stand out scene and makes the film even more must watch. I never knew that a mise-en-scene of couches and tables would make the milieu fantastic.

Rant of the fortnight:
Deja vu: I cannot watch a movie with complete suspension of disbelief. Thats the very reason why i loathed at dhoom 2 and now at this denzel washington starrer.


At 12:00 AM, Blogger Bharat Jhurani said...

Stop belittling Vizag.. I mean Vizag has its own Charm!! n y is it so abnormal if a guy smooches a girl on a traffic signal, if he pampers her n stuff.. India is a free country. They shld b some privacy given to the lovelorns, and the eyeball popping crowd shld decrease!!!

At 10:20 AM, Anonymous Shravya said...

pls stop posting blogs on irrelevant n trivial topics.And even if u do,pls put sumthin sensible in it.
Ur part1 n part2 reveal only on the metro-side of blore.If ur really so impressed wit d lifestyle of d city, plss explore d whole city instead of just gawking ppl in shoppin malls,bookstores n multiplexes...u'll get to knw tht ppl over thr r no different frm ppl at vzg.
Ppl at vzg mayb conservative but not dumb. The mindset of ppl here is mature wit no-one causing fracas over hype-and this is not a biased opinion.
Waiting for ur nxt post...pls get REAL.

At 6:59 PM, Blogger Adwait Deshpande said...

i see that u are well prepared for the brickbats.
i would first like to see what u have written or for that matter eavesdropped ,when i go to bangalore.coming to the style of writing,my vocab , being not as extensive as urs, had to keep a dictionary in front of me to decipher it.Please do not use obscure words and phrases , which send us scurrying to the oxford dictionary.We are mere mortals dude.

At 5:43 AM, Blogger shanti said...

Guess its ur 1st write-up in 2007...but lemme tell u...its ATROCIOUS...!!
Ater reading ur lengthy blog alias essay...i'v come to a conclusion tht ur moronic side is unexpectedly, appreciating d pleasant side of blore...n ur normal side is patently eavesdropping on other ppl's(i think u ought to mention girls here...hav u forgotten??)conversation....n hey u'v mentioned 'he' in capitals....was it by mistake or u feel tht ur God!!

I'm now surprised to hear tht u were baffled to watch d smooching scene in d traffic wen an antediluvian like me is getting used to such scenes or worst than it in my own city,VIZAG(cos ur earlier posts reveals tht ur a strong supporter 4 PMS n vry much interested in being a blore guy so tht u can visualize "girls with ample cleavage n wearing see thru tops")

A girl is able to maintain 2 or 3 guys at a time n ofcourse at diff timings in a day:D...n tht is our same old Vizag no less than blore:)...i think tht smooch is better wen compared to this girl.
Its quite refreshning to hear tht blore girls talk was upstanding n guys r NOT bck of beauty...U only shud HEAR???

N don worry u'v not underestimated vizag in any sense...n those were mere facts!
Being a connoisseur at writing,its disheartening to see u write on such trivial topics..n If u only wish to continue to inc ur blog comments thn plausibly this cud b my last one..

At 6:13 AM, Blogger shanti said...

@ bharat jhurani
i dunno in wot way d writer has belittled vizag...if u feel tht line"This got me pretty exciting, even more than the scenes of naked midriffs with the pellucid fabric hardly sustaining and clean underarms(unlike the marwari girls of vizag)??...thn mind u he has mentioned marwari girls who actually hails frm North of india n they r not vizagites!!
U'v mentioned tht lovelorns shud bgiven privacy...wherein d word itself implicates tht it shud b done privately unlik smooching in d public causing nuisance n spoiling d brains of d childrn...I admit tht india is a free country but does freedom mean to u in osculating amidst public n me myself never miss a chance to watch d play so obviously d eyeball popping crowd's num will never reduce
now lemme pose a query to u...
will u snuggle ur girlfriend at jagadamba junction at 6 in d eve??

At 7:21 PM, Blogger garcia kafka said...

@shanti: I do feel like a GOD but at that particular instant it was a genuine typo error. Its a bit too far fetched to expect a lip lock in vizag and no where in my entire blog is the phrase "ample cleavage" mentioned. I promise to come up with a better write up next time. :)

At 11:09 PM, Blogger shanti said...

probably u mite not hav explored vizag or rather find out frm ur frds...
as far as 'ample cleavage' is concerned...its with reference to ur previous blogs...refer it...n moreover my vocab doesnt permit such wonderful adjectives!!

At 3:35 AM, Blogger garcia kafka said...

g@shanti: Well..Exceptions dont make rules.. So a one-off incident in some siberian pigeonhole in no way suggests that the vizagites have started shedding their shyness.. Yeah, i did mention the cleavage part.. but it in no way means that am gonna drool over that.. trust me,thats damn boring.. thank u for acknowledging it as a wonderful adjective.. i hope its bereft of sarcasm..

At 8:35 AM, Blogger shanti said...

Well..Exceptions dont make rules.. So a one-off incident in some siberian pigeonhole in no way suggests that the BangloreanS have started shedding their shyness..

pls stop tht it blore or long as the liplock is between a girl n a boy..n as far as i know...its 2 d extent d couple has deteriorated is wot tht doesnt matter...its ur will power to control,norms n ethics u follow is wot tht makes d diff...
I feel attraction between opp sex,those adult humor,ogling at girls is quite obvious all over d world...its not d place but its person's mentality which is making d diff...Vizag is no less than blore..
Blore n vizag...both r in India n as an indian feel bad tht our culture is d same time feel proud tht u r an INDIAN!!

neways our ideas never coincide nhope it shud nvr to bring out a diff between both of us! lemme close this debate with a full stop.

At 11:05 PM, Anonymous The Mocking Spirit said...

Yo ! Long time !


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